When Your Life Changes but Your Habits Don't
Apparently, some of my habits haven't caught up with the rest of my life. LOL. I'm still making dinner at five when nobody's hungry, and my husband is still giving me quiet time to study even though I've been out of school for almost two years. It got me wondering how many other things I'm doing simply because I've always done them, even when the reason for doing them is long gone.
Lisa J Buhman
10/15/20264 min read
Lisa J. Buhman
When Your Life Changes but Your Habits Don't
Apparently, some part of my brain still thinks dinner needs to be on the table at five o'clock.
It doesn't seem to matter whether anyone is hungry or what else is going on. Around 4:30, I find myself wandering into the kitchen and starting dinner.
The funny thing is, most of the time I don't even realize what I am doing until I've already started cooking. LOL.
Then I look at the clock and wonder why on earth I'm making dinner when nobody, including me, wants to eat yet.
It's especially ridiculous in the summer. Here in Montana, it stays light until almost eleven at night, and nobody wants to stop what they are doing to eat at five when there is so much daylight left.
But there I am, making dinner anyway.
Usually, I laugh at myself, but I also get a little irritated because I've done it again. By the time anyone actually wants to eat, the food will be cold, or we'll all end up eating at different times.
And that's the part that really bugs me. I actually enjoy sitting down and having dinner together.
So why do I keep doing it?
Well, fifteen years ago or so, we needed to eat at five because of my brother-in-law Sonny's health issues. It made sense then, so we adjusted our schedule.
After doing it for so long, dinner at five just became what we did.
Except we don't need to do that anymore. Haven't for quite a while, actually.
Apparently, nobody bothered to tell automatic Lisa. LOL.
I've been thinking about that lately, especially after realizing my husband and I have fallen into a few routines that don't necessarily fit our lives anymore.
Now I'm wondering how many other things automatic Lisa is still doing that I haven't even noticed yet, LOL
In This Article
When a Good Reason Becomes a Habit
Your Life Changed. Did Your Habits?
You Can Choose Something Different Now
When a Good Reason Becomes a Habit
I suppose most of our habits started for a reason. Something needed to be done, someone needed help, or we figured out a way to make life a little easier. Once we found something that worked, of course, we kept doing it.
That makes sense. I certainly don't want to spend my entire day thinking about every little decision I make. I'd never get anything done. LOL.
What I hadn't really thought about was how long some of those routines stick around after the reason for them is gone.
Apparently, knowing something and remembering it before I turn the stove on are two entirely different things. LOL.
That's what I find interesting. I didn't sit down one day and decide that dinner would always be at five, no matter what happened in our lives. We made the change because we needed it, and somewhere along the way, it became automatic.
Now I'm wondering how many other things I've done the same way. Things that made perfect sense when I started doing them, but that I haven't really thought about since.
Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with having routines. Some of mine make life a whole lot easier.
I'm just beginning to suspect that a few of them might be hanging around long past their usefulness.
Heck, I remember how long it took me to change hairstyles. LOL.
Your Life Changed. Did Your Habits?
I've noticed something similar with my husband lately.
When I was working on my master's degree, he got into the habit of leaving the house early so I could concentrate on my schoolwork. I had plenty to do, and having some uninterrupted time was helpful.
The funny thing is, I've been out of school for almost two years now, but he still does it.
If he sees me sitting at the computer working on something for my business, he automatically assumes I need him to get out of the house so I can work.
I've told him that's not necessary anymore, but apparently seeing me at the computer sends him right back to those years when I was studying. LOL.
And I can understand that. We spent years doing things a certain way, and it worked for us.
But our lives are different now.
I'm not spending hours studying for exams or writing papers. I'm building a business, and while I certainly have plenty of work to do, that doesn't mean he needs to disappear every time I turn on the computer.
What's interesting is that neither of us really intended for this to become a permanent arrangement.
It worked at the time, and we just kept doing it.
Kind of like my dinner schedule.
Except this one involves both of us.
Apparently, I'm not the only one around here whose habits haven't caught up with the rest of my life. LOL.
You Can Choose Something Different Now
The funny thing is, I don't necessarily want to change everything about these routines.
I still enjoy sitting down and having dinner together. I still appreciate having time to myself when I'm working.
And I certainly don't want my husband to feel like he needs to entertain me every time I'm sitting at the computer. LOL.
But I also don't need dinner on the table at five, and he doesn't need to leave the house just because I'm working.
Somewhere along the way, the things we needed changed, but we kept doing what we'd always done.
And I suppose that's what I've been thinking about.
I don't need to throw out everything we've been doing. Maybe we just need to make a few adjustments.
Like waiting until somebody is actually hungry before I start cooking. There's a novel idea. LOL.
Or remembering that having time to myself doesn't mean I need the house to myself.
I imagine I'll still find myself starting dinner at 4:30 occasionally. Fifteen years of doing something apparently doesn't disappear overnight.
But maybe I'll catch myself a little sooner next time.
And now I'm curious how many other things in my life could use a little updating.
Not because they were wrong to begin with.
Just because my life isn't the same as it was when I started doing them.
© 2025. All rights reserved.